Saturday, November 21, 2009

Is it possible????

Even though I know I shouldn't do it, I got on the scale this afternoon. All I'd had for the day was a cup of coffee and my Uncle Sam cereal. I had actually gone up on the scale on Thursday but today.....DOWN and I broke 155 :) So, I went to that scary place, my closet where I keep my "regular" clothes. I pulled down a pair of size 10 jeans (admittedly with stretch) and put them on.....they FIT. The jeans actually touched me and the "muffin" at the waistband was minimal. People, I've gone from size 14 pants to size 10....the size I wore 2 years ago! Now, I'm not letting this get to my head too much because as we know, not all pants & sizes are created equal, but it feels good to start a clothes donation box for The Salvation Army.
I've struggled emotionally this week. Last night I allowed myself to acknowledge the fact that I am not happy. I've got a lot of stresses in a lot of areas and my relationships aren't what I'd like them to be. It was Thursday night I believe and I ate 3 servings of Joseph's cookies. I had that little voice in my head saying "you aren't hungry" and I rationalized it by saying that my body will have the adverse reaction to eating that much Maltitol and I'd lose weight. Can you believe this?
I'm an introvert. I don't like meeting new people and I really don't like small talk. I enjoy silence and very deep and meaningful relationships with a few people. I don't have that in my life right now. My BFF moved away in May of 2007. We have a lot in common and did everything together...we met on the job and it just took off. Her move was completely unexpected and happened in one week. I love her a lot and miss her terribly. I went to visit her in October of 2007 and haven't been back. She doesn't call me and occasionally emails me. We used to IM but she had a baby in August and we've not been in touch really since. So that makes me very sad, lonely, hurt and I don't want to trust or love someone that much again. We were going to grow old together.......
Well, "the best laid plans of mice and men."

Okay, so later today I plan to post some product reviews.

1 comment:

  1. Wow Heather you just described me to a T. I am 44 and have had 2 good friends in my life (aside from my husband). Both of them are no longer in my life and I just don't trust enough to get close to another friend. I have friends, but I don't have that one good friend that you can share with.

    Anyway...congrats on your loss, that is really something to be proud of! Keep up the good work.