I honestly could go on about this in a rant and I spent half the night writing this post in my head but I'm just too emotional and scattered right now. Long and short of it is, my husband said he is divorcing me and I know he is having an affair. I've spent 10 years raising HIS children and taking care of him and this is the thanks I get in return. I've feared on some level he would do this.....wait for me to raise HIS kids and then get rid of me for a younger model and he has.
It has been hard dealing with this on my own. I don't want to share with my family because of what stress it will add to them and they have enough already. I don't have any friends locally and I have to admit that my BFF who moved away in 2007 back to NY has really let me down with this. I'm at a total loss for what to do and to make matters worse, I don't have the money to go anywhere. I'm stuck and I hate it.
I've been so out of sorts that it actually took me the better part of 2 days to realize this is the second time he's rejected me and I'm mad at myself for getting into this.
Eh, well, the upside is, I have managed to break 140 pounds and enter the elusive 130s so I might be at my goal weight for my 25th reunion at the end of the month.
as the pizza burns...
Reflections on life, entering middle age and trying to figure out how to eat ;-)
Saturday, September 8, 2012
Saturday, August 25, 2012
16 pounds and counting
Yep, that's how much I've "released" thus far and I'm good with that. I haven't been this excited about a lifestyle change since I did the South Beach Diet. I'll give the initial kudos to the Fast Track version of BFC but the rest goes to the Paleo community and from here on, my posts related to food will reflect that. I have a ridiculous collection of cookbooks as you can see:
Okay so there are a few phone books and gardening books in there but really, does this not put into perspective how much I LOVE and THINK about food!? I adore cookbooks, they are my favorite type of book and yet, I am now beginning to ponder the prospect of letting some of them go....
I ponder this because it may be, for me, no different than having those tempting "crap" food items in the house....I may be tempted to concoct a tempting sweet treat out of one of these books. Now, having said that, I am also doing some research online to see how I can modify some of these unhealthy recipes into healthier ones that are Paleo friendly. I have invested in two new books to help with my lifestyle and add some variety to the menu....I also am looking forward to having a near "perfect" Paleo Thanksgiving..."near" due to some must have's of the in-laws. I've already decided I'm cooking smaller quantities of their "must have's" as they do not eat left overs and I certainly don't want that food in my home any longer than necessary. So here are my new books:
I purchased the book on the left at Costco and the book on the right is available at selected Costcos (not mine so I ordered from Amazon). If you are interested in learning more about Paleo and how it can help several health issues AND comes with menu planners and shopping lists (free online download from her website) I'd get the book on the right. Diane has a blog http://balancedbites.com/ that is FULL of great information and she also does podcasts.
One of my biggest "gripes" against BFC was that Jorge didn't provide any science behind his S/C ratio. On page 96 of Practical Paleo, Diane gives the carb breakdown! Needless to say, BFC max of 120 is TOO HIGH unless you are a serious athlete. The latest news in sugar is women should limit it to 5 teaspoons or 20 grams per day.
So, here are some pictures of meals I've eaten that have assisted in my thus far 16 pound weight loss.
Two examples of breakfast-pastured eggs (2) and tomatoes and preservative free bacon (2) or sauteed spinach and kimche. I cook my eggs in either Kerrygold butter or coconut oil. I have a 12 oz. cup of coffee over ice with 1-2 tbsp. heavy cream and a couple drops of liquid stevia.
These are dinners and IF there are any left overs, they are brunch/lunch for the next day. I tend to be more of a brunch person-eating around the lunch hour so I guess I naturally do a little intermittent fasting. So my "eating window" is typically noon to 8pm. Today, as I write this, I realize that I've not eaten since approximately 8pm last night--it is currently 2:17pm EDT. I don't feel hungry but I know I need to eat in order for the fat stores to melt away. I'll cook a couple eggs and have some kraut or kimchee.
Thank you for stopping by and please feel free to share in the comments :-)
Disclaimer-I am NOT a nutritionist or dietician and my posts are strictly for entertainment purposes NOT nutritional/dietary advise.
Okay so there are a few phone books and gardening books in there but really, does this not put into perspective how much I LOVE and THINK about food!? I adore cookbooks, they are my favorite type of book and yet, I am now beginning to ponder the prospect of letting some of them go....
I ponder this because it may be, for me, no different than having those tempting "crap" food items in the house....I may be tempted to concoct a tempting sweet treat out of one of these books. Now, having said that, I am also doing some research online to see how I can modify some of these unhealthy recipes into healthier ones that are Paleo friendly. I have invested in two new books to help with my lifestyle and add some variety to the menu....I also am looking forward to having a near "perfect" Paleo Thanksgiving..."near" due to some must have's of the in-laws. I've already decided I'm cooking smaller quantities of their "must have's" as they do not eat left overs and I certainly don't want that food in my home any longer than necessary. So here are my new books:
I purchased the book on the left at Costco and the book on the right is available at selected Costcos (not mine so I ordered from Amazon). If you are interested in learning more about Paleo and how it can help several health issues AND comes with menu planners and shopping lists (free online download from her website) I'd get the book on the right. Diane has a blog http://balancedbites.com/ that is FULL of great information and she also does podcasts.
One of my biggest "gripes" against BFC was that Jorge didn't provide any science behind his S/C ratio. On page 96 of Practical Paleo, Diane gives the carb breakdown! Needless to say, BFC max of 120 is TOO HIGH unless you are a serious athlete. The latest news in sugar is women should limit it to 5 teaspoons or 20 grams per day.
So, here are some pictures of meals I've eaten that have assisted in my thus far 16 pound weight loss.
Two examples of breakfast-pastured eggs (2) and tomatoes and preservative free bacon (2) or sauteed spinach and kimche. I cook my eggs in either Kerrygold butter or coconut oil. I have a 12 oz. cup of coffee over ice with 1-2 tbsp. heavy cream and a couple drops of liquid stevia.
These are dinners and IF there are any left overs, they are brunch/lunch for the next day. I tend to be more of a brunch person-eating around the lunch hour so I guess I naturally do a little intermittent fasting. So my "eating window" is typically noon to 8pm. Today, as I write this, I realize that I've not eaten since approximately 8pm last night--it is currently 2:17pm EDT. I don't feel hungry but I know I need to eat in order for the fat stores to melt away. I'll cook a couple eggs and have some kraut or kimchee.
Thank you for stopping by and please feel free to share in the comments :-)
Disclaimer-I am NOT a nutritionist or dietician and my posts are strictly for entertainment purposes NOT nutritional/dietary advise.
Labels:
BFC,
Fast Track BFC,
Paleo,
Paleo Comfort Foods,
Practical Paleo
Sunday, June 3, 2012
Prepped for the week
Last night I got my cooking on and cranked out 12 coconut flour, bacon, egg, and cheese muffins, 12 coconut flour blueberry muffins, 12 apple, buffalo, pork meat muffins plus a mini loaf and a giant pot of chili for the Hubs.
This is what it looked like by the end of it at oh, 1045pm.
I packaged 1/2 the muffins up to travel to my in-laws for the next 3 days. I shared the rest with the Hubs so he has some options for the next 3 days (he's not practiced at cooking for himself after 7 years of marriage :-) ) Before I began packing and collecting everything to load into the car, we had a blueberry muffin and BEC muffin each along with coffee. Then I started the descaling process for the coffee maker as it is acting up frequently as of late. The Charlet's cannot go without their coffee so addressing the mechanical issues of the coffee maker was a high priority this morning.
So, my plan is to pack muffins to take with me to school every day for breakfast and lunch. I'll probably hit Whole Foods hot bar for dinner Monday and Tuesday.
Well, hope you have a good week and thanks for taking the time to read my blog :-)
*BEC and Blueberry muffin recipes are from Cheeseslave's blog www.cheeseslave.com and the recipe for the meat muffins is:
2 lb. meat
1 medium onion, chopped
1 medium, firm apple, cored and chopped
1/2 tsp. Worchestershire sauce
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. pepper
1 c. bread crumbs ( I used 3/4 c. almond meal and 1/4 c. flax seed meal)
2 eggs
Organic ketchup
Brown Sugar (I used coconut palm sugar)
Preheat oven to 350
In a bowl combine all ingredients and mix with your hands
Portion out into muffin tins, mini loaf pans or a large loaf pan
Squeeze ketchup on top of muffins/loaves and then sprinkle with brown sugar. Add sliced apple to the top for a pretty presentation and more apple flavor if you'd like.
Bake for 20-30 minutes for the muffins/mini loaf and 50-60 for the large loaf
This is what it looked like by the end of it at oh, 1045pm.
I packaged 1/2 the muffins up to travel to my in-laws for the next 3 days. I shared the rest with the Hubs so he has some options for the next 3 days (he's not practiced at cooking for himself after 7 years of marriage :-) ) Before I began packing and collecting everything to load into the car, we had a blueberry muffin and BEC muffin each along with coffee. Then I started the descaling process for the coffee maker as it is acting up frequently as of late. The Charlet's cannot go without their coffee so addressing the mechanical issues of the coffee maker was a high priority this morning.
So, my plan is to pack muffins to take with me to school every day for breakfast and lunch. I'll probably hit Whole Foods hot bar for dinner Monday and Tuesday.
Well, hope you have a good week and thanks for taking the time to read my blog :-)
*BEC and Blueberry muffin recipes are from Cheeseslave's blog www.cheeseslave.com and the recipe for the meat muffins is:
2 lb. meat
1 medium onion, chopped
1 medium, firm apple, cored and chopped
1/2 tsp. Worchestershire sauce
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. pepper
1 c. bread crumbs ( I used 3/4 c. almond meal and 1/4 c. flax seed meal)
2 eggs
Organic ketchup
Brown Sugar (I used coconut palm sugar)
Preheat oven to 350
In a bowl combine all ingredients and mix with your hands
Portion out into muffin tins, mini loaf pans or a large loaf pan
Squeeze ketchup on top of muffins/loaves and then sprinkle with brown sugar. Add sliced apple to the top for a pretty presentation and more apple flavor if you'd like.
Bake for 20-30 minutes for the muffins/mini loaf and 50-60 for the large loaf
Friday, June 1, 2012
2000+ miles
It has been a while since I've posted and here is why-
1. Got accepted to a graduate certificate program for Play Therapy
2. The university is 4 hours from my home which necessitated the need to find some closer accommodations
3. Said accommodations are 84 miles one way from campus
4. Eldest child graduated from Naval Basic Training in Illinois---road trip of 1600+ miles
5. Homework is kicking ass, sucking spare time and when I return home, I report to my job.
I LOVE it, with the exception of being sleep deprived. I have been getting maybe 4 hours of sleep a night due to my temporary living conditions. I have to get up at 5am to get ready for school and then hit the road by 6am so I don't get caught up too bad in the road construction and end up late to class. The homework is a constant flood since it is compressed into summer school. Maybe I should nap from 130 to 2pm when my sister-in-law gets back home to let me in the house? (I don't want a key to the house, I'm fine waiting or shopping to fill in the time :) )
During this I have eaten some grains/legumes and alcohol but I still managed to lose a couple pounds. I need to work on drinking more water-I have my giant iced coffee in the morning during class and then don't typically have anything to drink again until dinner. I think this is due to my concern about needing to "go" while in class and/or driving back to my brother and sister-in-law's house. I suppose I should chug a liter of Smartwater as soon as I hit their driveway.
I am thrilled that not only has my town had a Whole Foods open recently, but my in-laws have too! Twice this week I went there and one day picked up lunch from the hot bar and dinner another night. It was good and I was able to load up on some greens! I also bought a few bottles of Kombucha to help the old digestive tract.
I leave again Sunday afternoon to resume my temporary living with the in-laws but this week I will go a little better prepared for the week. I am going to make a batch of coconut flour bacon, egg and cheese muffins and I think I will make my bison/pork apple meatloaf muffins. These are simple to make and keep really well in the fridge/freezer and I can leave a few for the hubs to have during the week as well. Hmmm, wait, no I might make chili for him to have over the week. He's pretty good about eating the same stuff for a few days and I still have frozen BBQ and Italian sausages he can rotate through. I guess I know how my Saturday will be spent....cooking, laundry and packing :)
Life will return to normal as of July. I just hope by then my case load at work has picked up. A time sheet for 1 hour of work is NOT going to pay bills.
I hope you all are fairing well and enjoyed your Memorial Day weekend. It was particularly meaningful for me as my father is a Vietnam vet (Navy) and my son graduated from Naval Basic Training.
1. Got accepted to a graduate certificate program for Play Therapy
2. The university is 4 hours from my home which necessitated the need to find some closer accommodations
3. Said accommodations are 84 miles one way from campus
4. Eldest child graduated from Naval Basic Training in Illinois---road trip of 1600+ miles
5. Homework is kicking ass, sucking spare time and when I return home, I report to my job.
I LOVE it, with the exception of being sleep deprived. I have been getting maybe 4 hours of sleep a night due to my temporary living conditions. I have to get up at 5am to get ready for school and then hit the road by 6am so I don't get caught up too bad in the road construction and end up late to class. The homework is a constant flood since it is compressed into summer school. Maybe I should nap from 130 to 2pm when my sister-in-law gets back home to let me in the house? (I don't want a key to the house, I'm fine waiting or shopping to fill in the time :) )
During this I have eaten some grains/legumes and alcohol but I still managed to lose a couple pounds. I need to work on drinking more water-I have my giant iced coffee in the morning during class and then don't typically have anything to drink again until dinner. I think this is due to my concern about needing to "go" while in class and/or driving back to my brother and sister-in-law's house. I suppose I should chug a liter of Smartwater as soon as I hit their driveway.
I am thrilled that not only has my town had a Whole Foods open recently, but my in-laws have too! Twice this week I went there and one day picked up lunch from the hot bar and dinner another night. It was good and I was able to load up on some greens! I also bought a few bottles of Kombucha to help the old digestive tract.
I leave again Sunday afternoon to resume my temporary living with the in-laws but this week I will go a little better prepared for the week. I am going to make a batch of coconut flour bacon, egg and cheese muffins and I think I will make my bison/pork apple meatloaf muffins. These are simple to make and keep really well in the fridge/freezer and I can leave a few for the hubs to have during the week as well. Hmmm, wait, no I might make chili for him to have over the week. He's pretty good about eating the same stuff for a few days and I still have frozen BBQ and Italian sausages he can rotate through. I guess I know how my Saturday will be spent....cooking, laundry and packing :)
Life will return to normal as of July. I just hope by then my case load at work has picked up. A time sheet for 1 hour of work is NOT going to pay bills.
I hope you all are fairing well and enjoyed your Memorial Day weekend. It was particularly meaningful for me as my father is a Vietnam vet (Navy) and my son graduated from Naval Basic Training.
Friday, May 18, 2012
Comfort Dinner
So the hubs sent me a text message Wednesday morning telling me that a co-worker gave him the finger. Of course I sent a supportive text back and offered to "ef" her up if he'd tell me where she was. Hubby has been dealing with a bunch of Kindergarteners at his job for the last three years and it is really getting old. I've told him that I believe he has grounds to file a hostile work environment grievance. Any way, since I couldn't exact some revenge for the hubs I thought I could do the next best thing....cook some comfort food. Two weeks ago I ordered ground bison, bacon ends and chicken quarters from US Wellness Meats. I have an apple meatloaf recipe that I love and was eager to try using the ground bison mixed with ground pork. I also needed to replace the bread crumbs as I am avoiding grains and wheat....voila, almond meal. To round out the meal, I made kale chips and mock mashed potatoes with cauliflower. And, if that wasn't enough, I baked Elana Amsterdam's spice cake from her gluten-free cookbook. I kicked it up a notch and topped it with homemade vanilla whipped cream. Here are all the pictures:
Hubby was very happy with dinner and as you can see from the pictures, we had plenty of left overs! In fact, today will be the third day we are eating the mini loaves for dinner...I don't mind one bit. I'll add sweet potatoes and seasoned collards to call it a meal :) The spice cake is high in sugar count and I cut it into 12 servings per the recipe. Elana uses a lot of agave syrup to sweeten her recipes, I used maple syrup for this one so there may be a difference due to that. If I understood stevia conversions better, I would have used stevia.
Again, what is making this so simple for me to stick with and ENJOY is the fact that I can substitute out the "bad" stuff and put the healthy in. Next Wednesday is the opening for Whole Foods here. I cannot wait for it as I hope to finally be able to buy pastured pork and chicken in a store and not from the internet...don't get me wrong, I LOVE what I got from US Wellness Meats and may continue to order from them if for nothing more than the bacon ends as they are straight pork with NOTHING added :) I just want to reduce my carbon footprint with all the internet grocery shopping I do.
I hope you all have a lovely Friday evening and a relaxing weekend!
Hubby was very happy with dinner and as you can see from the pictures, we had plenty of left overs! In fact, today will be the third day we are eating the mini loaves for dinner...I don't mind one bit. I'll add sweet potatoes and seasoned collards to call it a meal :) The spice cake is high in sugar count and I cut it into 12 servings per the recipe. Elana uses a lot of agave syrup to sweeten her recipes, I used maple syrup for this one so there may be a difference due to that. If I understood stevia conversions better, I would have used stevia.
Again, what is making this so simple for me to stick with and ENJOY is the fact that I can substitute out the "bad" stuff and put the healthy in. Next Wednesday is the opening for Whole Foods here. I cannot wait for it as I hope to finally be able to buy pastured pork and chicken in a store and not from the internet...don't get me wrong, I LOVE what I got from US Wellness Meats and may continue to order from them if for nothing more than the bacon ends as they are straight pork with NOTHING added :) I just want to reduce my carbon footprint with all the internet grocery shopping I do.
I hope you all have a lovely Friday evening and a relaxing weekend!
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
What I've eaten lately
So I've been trying some new recipes lately and thought I'd share them with you...pictures that is :) I've tried the cauliflower crust pizza and LOVE it! I also tried my hand at roasting a boneless leg of lamb...a new venture and I must admit to over cooking it and it isn't a flavor that really resonates with me. I have another boneless leg of lamb in the freezer as Costco had it on sale and I thought it would be a nice change. For brunch one Sunday I made crustless quiches - spinach, mushroom and onion.
Here is the cauliflower pizza crust
Here it is with sauce, mushrooms, bacon and italian sausage
And here it is with sauce, bacon, italian sausage, mushrooms and onions
Roasted boneless leg of lamb
Sauteed cabbage with Kerrygold Butter and Caraway
Crustless spinach, mushroom and onion quiches
I am really enjoying cooking and researching on the computer for tasty grain and gluten-free meals. I am happy to have found a food lifestyle that I believe for the first time ever, I can be happy and successful with.
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Adventures in Chicken and Salmon
So with my renewed interest in cooking, I took it upon myself to find out how to butcher/break down a whole chicken. I wish Costco would carry organic chicken thighs and breasts with the skin on. Since they don't and I prefer to purchase the organic chickens, I went to YouTube for help. I found a video done by Ian Knauer, an editor at Gourmet magazine. It was very clear and simple and well done. I broke down two chickens!
Then I did something I saw on Paleo Parents blog....they wrapped BACON around chicken! Actually, they wrapped bacon around a whole chicken and roasted it, but you get the idea...I've done that too.
I ground pepper over these bad boys and boy were they good :p (that's me licking my lips). Another recipe from Paleo Parents that totally rocked my world was Stacy's recipe for crab balls. Now, I didn't have any crab meat but I did have salmon and have grown up eating salmon cakes. I tweaked the recipe a bit adding fresh dill and lemon juice at serving. I also got crazy decadent and pan fried these in Kerry Gold Butter. To go along side these delicious cakes, I served the sweet potatoes delivered to my door from the CSA I belong to.
What is that yellow pool above the sweet potato you ask???? Why, Kerry Gold Butter of course! Yes, I've got a healthy love of dairy :) The Hubs was very impressed with this dinner in particular and I've got to admit, it was REALLY good. I do not brag about my cooking and frequently criticize my cooking but I had to agree with the Hubs this time and all the credit goes to Stacy of Paleo Parents. The Hubs and I are looking forward to trying the actual crab ball recipe, I plan to make them cakes as I find it a little too tedious to roll out 25 balls.
As for how things are going on the weight loss front, I've lost another pound which brings me to 11 pounds so far. It would be GREAT to get to 16 pounds by May 25th which is my son's anticipated graduation date from Navy Basic Training in Great Lakes. My 7th wedding anniversary is May 29th and I've got a FAB dress that would "feel" better on if I lost a few more pounds. I would really like to get my arms and legs in better shape but I'm lacking in motivation. I have a 25th high school reunion some time this summer too.
I pulled out the tape measure two days ago as I realized my brassiere felt loose. I've lost a cup size so now I get to lay out more money for replacements. Luckily, this new size is a little easier to find in the big box stores so hopefully, it won't hurt the bank too much. I've also learned that Maidenform has an outlet store in Myrtle Beach so a great excuse for a road trip :) I am still wearing clothes ranging from 8-12 but the 12's are getting big-I am able to pull some of my size 12 pants on and off without messing with the buttons and zipper.
Well, it is 12:25am and I've got a moving day tomorrow into an office at my new job :) Thanks for reading and have a GREAT day!
I ground pepper over these bad boys and boy were they good :p (that's me licking my lips). Another recipe from Paleo Parents that totally rocked my world was Stacy's recipe for crab balls. Now, I didn't have any crab meat but I did have salmon and have grown up eating salmon cakes. I tweaked the recipe a bit adding fresh dill and lemon juice at serving. I also got crazy decadent and pan fried these in Kerry Gold Butter. To go along side these delicious cakes, I served the sweet potatoes delivered to my door from the CSA I belong to.
What is that yellow pool above the sweet potato you ask???? Why, Kerry Gold Butter of course! Yes, I've got a healthy love of dairy :) The Hubs was very impressed with this dinner in particular and I've got to admit, it was REALLY good. I do not brag about my cooking and frequently criticize my cooking but I had to agree with the Hubs this time and all the credit goes to Stacy of Paleo Parents. The Hubs and I are looking forward to trying the actual crab ball recipe, I plan to make them cakes as I find it a little too tedious to roll out 25 balls.
As for how things are going on the weight loss front, I've lost another pound which brings me to 11 pounds so far. It would be GREAT to get to 16 pounds by May 25th which is my son's anticipated graduation date from Navy Basic Training in Great Lakes. My 7th wedding anniversary is May 29th and I've got a FAB dress that would "feel" better on if I lost a few more pounds. I would really like to get my arms and legs in better shape but I'm lacking in motivation. I have a 25th high school reunion some time this summer too.
I pulled out the tape measure two days ago as I realized my brassiere felt loose. I've lost a cup size so now I get to lay out more money for replacements. Luckily, this new size is a little easier to find in the big box stores so hopefully, it won't hurt the bank too much. I've also learned that Maidenform has an outlet store in Myrtle Beach so a great excuse for a road trip :) I am still wearing clothes ranging from 8-12 but the 12's are getting big-I am able to pull some of my size 12 pants on and off without messing with the buttons and zipper.
Well, it is 12:25am and I've got a moving day tomorrow into an office at my new job :) Thanks for reading and have a GREAT day!
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